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	Rolling Stones   Excerpt: by O. Henry Author of 'The Million,' 'The Voice of the City,' 'The Trimmed Lamp,' 'Strictly Business,' 'Sixes and Sevens,' etc. 1919 O. Henry, Afrite-Chef of all delight Of all delectables conglomerate That stay the starved brain and rejuvenate The Mental Man! The sthetic appetite So long enhungered that the 'inards' fight And growl gutwiseits pangs thou dost abate And all so amiably alleviate, Joy pats his belly as a hobo might Who haply hath obtained a cherry pie With no burnt crust at all, ner any seeds; Nothin' but crisp crust, and the thickness fit. And squashin'-juicy, an' jes' mighty nigh Too dratted, drippin'-sweet for human needs, But fer the sosh of milk that goes with it. Written in the character of 'Sherrard Plummer' by James Whitcomb Riley CONTENTS Introduction The Dream A Ruler of Men The Atavism of John Tom Little Bear Helping the Other Fellow The Marionettes The Marquis and Miss Sally A Fog in Santone The Friendly Call A Dinner at * Sound and Fury Tictocq Tracked to Doom A Snapshot at the President An Unfinished Christmas Story The Unprofitable Servant Aristocracy Versus Hash The Prisoner of Zembla A Strange Story Fickle Fortune, or How Gladys Hustled An Apology Lord Oakhurst's Curse Bexar Scrip No. 2692 Queries and Answers Poems td valign='top...
	Nanny State   CHAPTER ONETWINKIE FASCISTSThe proverb warns that “you should not bite the hand that feeds you.” But maybe you should. If it prevents you from feeding yourself. —Thomas SzaszNever trust a dog to watch your food. —UnknownGUARDIANS OF YOUR GULLETThe fashionable eastside neighborhood of Oakhurst in Decatur, Georgia, is the last place you would imagine that an establishment like Mulligan’s could survive. The area, once teeming with drug dealers and home to some of the highest crime rates in the area, has undergone an astonishing gentrification the past few years. Today, Oakhurst is home to countless upwardly mobile couples inhabiting refurbished Craftsman bungalows with luxurious baby joggers sitting unattended on front lawns.Mulligan’s, located at the end of a nondescript parking lot, is a restaurant, sports bar—and counterrevolutionary enterprise. Here, I imagine, patrons would be capable of coalescing into an armed insurgency should some squeamish busybody suggest mandating smaller food portions. Mulligan’s is perhaps best known for its glorious Luther Burger—purportedly named after a favorite midnight nibble of the late R&B crooner Luther Vandross. The Luther Burger is your standard bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme doughnut substituting for the traditional bun.What’s not to like?But there’s more. A lot more. Mulligan’s ratchets up the fun quotient by serving a nutritionist's nightmare known as the Hamdog. This treat begins as a hot dog, sure, but then that sucker is wrapped in a beef patty, which is then, for good measure, deep fried and covered with cheese, chili, onions, a fried egg, and a heaping portion of fries. If you want a side of deep–fried Twinkies and a large soda, go for it.Mulligan’s fame—or perhaps you could call it infamy—has spread far beyond the confines of this neighborhood. During a Tonight Show monologue, Jay Leno described the particulars of the notorious Luther Burger, eliciting big laughs. The Krispy Kreme corporation has joined the fun, teaming up with an Illinois minor league team called the Gateway Grizzlies to create “Baseball’s Best Burger,” a thousand–calorie cheeseburger sandwiched between a sliced glazed doughnut.* * *Why am I hanging out here? To make a point. A free citizen exercising my right to eat the most sinfully unwholesome foods I could find in this great nation. Because, you know, not everyone finds the Hamdog as entertaining or as tempting as I do. Which is their prerogative, of course. But there are growing numbers of officious activists who would like to deny me the self-determination and pleasure of eating a Hamdog or Luther Burger.This group of finger-wagging activists advocate enhanced government control over choice. Many folks call this particular breed of militant nanny the food police. Legendary radio personality Paul Harvey once referred to them as “the guardians of your gullet.” I like to call them Twinkie Fascists—among other less polite monikers. And though this movement is still in its infancy, the Twinkie Fascists are gaining momentum and influence at a startling pace.As with all realms of nannyism, this attack on freedom and choice is fueled by good intentions. Nannies wil
	Great Britain and Her Queen   Excerpt: Queen Victoria GREAT BRITAIN AND HER QUEEN by ANNE E. KEELING Author of 'General Gordon: Hero and Saint,' 'The Oakhurst Chronicles,' 'Andrew Golding,' etc. Second Edition. Revised and Enlarged, 1897 CONTENTS I. THE GIRL QUEEN AND HER KINGDOM II. STORM AND SUNSHINE III. FRANCE AND ENGLAND IV. THE CRIMEAN WAR V. INDIA VI. THE BEGINNINGS OF SORROWS VII. CHANGES GOOD AND EVIL VIII. OUR COLONIES IX. INTELLECTUAL AND SPIRITUAL PROGRESS X. PROGRESS OF THE EMPIRE FROM 1887 TO 1897 XI. PROGRESS OF WESLEYAN METHODISMUNDER QUEEN VICTORIA, 1837-1897 CONCLUSION ILLUSTRATIONS Queen Victoria Claremont The Coronation of Queen Victoria Kensington Palace Duchess of Kent Elizabeth Fry Rowland Hill Father Mathew George Stephenson Wheatstone St. James's Palace Prince Albert The Queen in Her Wedding-Dress Sir Robert Peel Daniel O'Connell Richard Cobden John Bright Lord John Russell Thomas Chalmers John Henry Newmann Balmoral Buckingham Palace Napoleon III The Crystal Palace, 1851 Lord Ashley Earl of Derby Duke of Wellington Florence Nightingale Lord Canning Sir Colin Campbell Henry Havelock Sir John Lawrence Windsor Castle Prince Frederick William Princess Royal Charles Kingsley Lord Palmerston Abraham Lincoln and his son Princess Alice The Mausoleum Dr. Norman Macleod Prince of Wales Princess of Wales Osborne House Sir Robert Napier Mr. Gladstone Lord Beaconsfield Lord Salisbury General Gordon Duke of Albany Duchess of Albany Sydney...
	Tales of the Argonauts   Excerpt: By Bret Harte Contents THE ROSE OF TUOLUMNE CHAPTER I CHAPTER II A PASSAGE IN THE LIFE OF MR. JOHN OAKHURST. WAN LEE, THE PAGAN HOW OLD MAN PLUNKETT WENT HOME THE FOOL OF FIVE FORKS BABY SYLVESTER. AN EPISODE OF FIDDLETOWN. A JERSEY CENTENARIAN THE ROSE OF TUOLUMNE CHAPTER I It was nearly two o'clock in the morning. The lights were out in Robinson's Hall, where there had been dancing and revelry; and the moon, riding high, painted the black windows with silver. The cavalcade, that an hour ago had shocked the sedate pines with song and laughter, were all dispersed. One enamoured swain had ridden east, another west, another north, another south; and the object of their adoration, left within her bower at Chemisal Ridge, was calmly going to bed. I regret that I am not able to indicate the exact stage of that process. Two chairs were already filled with delicate inwrappings and white confusion; and the young lady herself, half-hidden in the silky threads of her yellow hair, had at one time borne a faint resemblance to a partly-husked ear of Indian corn. But she was now clothed in that one long, formless garment that makes all women equal; and the round shoulders and neat waist, that an hour ago had been so fatal to the peace of mind of Four Forks, had utterly disappeared. The face above it was very pretty: the foot below, albeit shapely, was not small. 'The flowers, as a general thing, don't raise their heads MUCH to look after me,' she had said with superb frankness to one of her lovers. The expression of the 'Rose' to-night was contentedly placid. She walked slowly to the window, and, making the smallest possible peephole through the curtain, looked out. The motionless figure of a horseman still lingered on the road, with an excess of devotion that only a coquette, or a woman very much in love, could tolerate. The 'Rose,' at that moment, was neither, and, after a reasonable pause, turned away, saying quite audibly that it was 'too ridiculous for any...

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